Read this poem and tell me what you think?

Hey there Scott. Not bad. You're not taking reality too literally, and that made your poem interesting. In a way, this one reminded me of Randall Jarrell or Robert Lowell. You're analytical and you've got a good feel for those unimportant moments that make everyday life so g*dd*mn meaningful. You would improve your verse by paying more attention to the sound of each line, and I think you may have used too many words in this poem. As you progress, you'll develop a better sense of understatement--a few of your lines are frankly way too dramatic, and I'm being kind.